Suicidal Big Idiot
by ProdigyWeasel
Summary: Kunikida Doppo and Dazai Osamu are standing on the edge of high place. It's like a slow motion in movie. Dazai starts to fall before Kunikida's eyes. His eyes widen. Can he save his suicidal big idiot partner? Or should he granted Dazai's wish?


**SUICIDAL BIG IDIOT**

Disclaimer : I must be crazy enough and there must be something wrong with my seaweed brain if I dare myself to claim that Bungou Stray Dogs is mine. It belongs to Asagiri Kafuka-sensei and Harukawa35-sensei. I'm just simply one hell of Bungou Stray Dogs fans who loves to write fanfics and does some amateur fanarts.

Summary : Kunikida Doppo and Dazai Osamu are standing on the edge of high place. It's like a slow motion in movie. Dazai starts to fall before Kunikida's eyes. His eyes widen. Can he save his suicidal big idiot partner? Or should he granted Dazai's wish?

Kunikida Doppo runs to the rooftop. His pace passed the stairs fast. At this time, if he can wish upon a star, he definitely would wish that he has wings on his back. He needs to fly!

"Idiot!" Once he reaches the rooftop, he screams on top of his lungs. Loud enough so that Suicidal Big Idiot can hear his hoarse voice clearly. "Don't you dare to move!"

The said Suicidal Big Idiot turns aback. He's not the usual Suicidal Big Idiot. He's the broken soul wandering on earth. Why does Kunikida not know it?

Aren't they partners?

Even Director Fukuzawa puts his faith on Kunikida to supervise Dazai. Partners should know each others.

Why does Kunikida never know it?

Aren't they partners?

Dazai Osamu, his partner for more than two years, is a man who never stop to talk about suicide. When he's sleeping or awaking, the only thing he's thinking of is getting himself killed no matter how cheap or easy the method. That dammed The Complete Suicide Guide book is like a master piece for him. An important thing that should tag along with him everywhere he goes.

But, yet he's still alive.

He's still in one piece.

He's fine.

He's so fine. So, that's why Kunikida thinks that suicide is like a fun joke for Dazai. He's not serious. He shouldn't be serious.

Kunikida never asks a reason.

Why should you commit suicide?

Dazai loves suicide.

Why should you commit suicide?

Do things you should do.

Should.

"Kunikida-kun, it's a lovely night to die."

To Kunikida's surprise, Dazai smiles sincerely. It's not like a fake smile, Dazai looks really happy. As if he will see his dream comes true in seconds.

"Dazai! Don't be stupid. From a high place like this, you ..."

"... Will die once I jump off the edge, won't I? Isn't that good then? I will die."

"Are you insane? Have you lost your mind?"

"I don't remember to claim myself sane enough. Truth to be told, I don't mind it though."

Dazai keeps smiling. But, Kunikida knew that Dazai's broken inside.

"Listen, Dazai! No matter how bad your problem is, you can solve it." To that point, Kunikida didn't know what Dazai's problem is. Is it so bad? Kunikida even doesn't know if Dazai has problem or not. But, Dazai is the trouble maker after all. Sure, he must be have at least one big problem.

Dazai laughs maniacally. His state of mind must be unstable. Did he really lost his mind?

"Dazai, Armed Detective Agency needs you! You can't die just like this!"

Armed Detective Agency needs Dazai Osamu. Does Kunikida ...too?

"What, am I a tool now? Great, just replace me with a new tool."

Dazai's mocking tone pierced Kunikida's heart like a icy sharp blade. Left a tinge in it. Kunikida knew the fact that Dazai can't be replaced. If he can, then Armed Detective Agency will pack so many men like him, also Kunikida will kick him out from his partnership list a long time ago.

But, no one likes him. Dazai Osamu is only one.

"Like it's too easy to find someone like you ..."

"That's true, no one insane enough to be like me."

It's not like that.

Kunikida stares at Dazai intently. He studies Dazai's facial expression. It seems so alive yet so dead at the same time. In this state, could he persuade Dazai to stay alive when Dazai, himself, desires to die so much?

It's like a gambling. Dazai and Kunikida are the players. Dazai's life is the bet.

"Dazai, you're so important to our agency. If you die, Director Fukuzawa ..."

"You're so selfish to ask me not to die, Kunikida-kun. You stop me for yourself."

Dazai cuts him. His smart mouth is fast like always.

Selfish, huh?!

It's the first time Kunikida doesn't get angry ...no, he can't be angry to be called 'selfish' by The Crowned Prince of Selfishness, Osamu Dazai. He knew that he's indeed a selfish bastard for his words.

Kunikida gulps. Cold sweats run his forehead. He shouldn't make mistake. Even though he should take the risk, but he should win the gamble and the bet.

He should.

Do things you should do.

-should do.

"We can talk, Dazai."

Kunikida takes a step forward. He picks his tone carefully, he shouldn't triggered Dazai to take dangerous action.

"We are talking. But, I guess ...talking time is over now, Kunikida-kun."

It's like a slow motion in movie. Dazai starts to fall before Kunikida's eyes. His eyes widen. "DAZAIIIII!"

Kunikida runs to Dazai. He takes a piece of paper from his pocket as he runs. "Ability : Doppo gin, wire gun!" Kunikida tosses his body, he jumps off the edge. Dazai's body falling fast. "Dammit!" Kunikida curses as he pulls Dazai's arm. He can't let Dazai die.

His heart races.

 _Please don't die._

 _Please don't die._

He takes aim and presses the trigger. A hook flies out from the gun, aims towards the edge of the building. Once the steel wire pulled taut, Kunikida hugs Dazai tightly. "Endure just a little, Dazai!" Kunikida tosses their bodies as he kicks hard the window glass. It breaks into million pieces, scattered everywhere. Luckily, the room is empty. A loud thud when they landed on the floor.

Dazai doesn't move. He stays on the floor. Only stares at Kunikida with his gloomy reddish brown eyes.

Is he broken?

"Dazai?"

No reaction.

"Dazai!" Kunikida grips Dazai's shoulders and shakes him hard enough. Almost brutally. "Dazai! Are you alright?!" Kunikida starts to worry to the level extreme. "Say a word, you seaweed brain! Are you alright? Are you getting hurt?! If you are ...I-I ...can't forgive myself ..."

Kunikida's blood drips on Dazai's face. It runs and flows from Dazai's eyes like bloody tears. He looks like he's crying.

"You're the one who getting hurt, Kunikida-kun ..." Dazai shivers. Kunikida hugs Dazai tightly. Kunikida sighs in relief. "Save that for later! As long as you alright, it's fine."

... Can't let him die.

Dazai's tears break free. He cries in Kunikida's embrace. He forgot how to be 'no longer human' he used to be. He lets Kunikida saw him cries.

"Hush, don't cry, Dazai. You're alright, aren't you?" Kunikida wipes Dazai's tears along with the blood fron Dazai's face.

"But, you're hurt."

"It doesn't matter. Let's go home."

Kunikida squats, piggy backs Dazai. Dazai links his arms around Kunikida's neck. He lays his head and rest on Kunikida's warm and strong shoulder. He can inhale Kunikida's manly scent. It calms him down.

"I won't ask your motivation to commit suicide."

"You won't?"

"Lecturing a blockhead like you is wasting. You won't listen. You won't stop. It would be pointless then."

Kunikida laughs dryly. He continues to talk, "I won't stop you. Commit suicide as you please. But, I will put all of my efforts and try hard to keep you alive."

"Wouldn't I disturb you?"

"You should disturb me. Should be a bother all the times."

Dazai is better alive. To be here. Disturb Kunikida ideal life. Be a bother to no end. Be Kunikida's side.

Dazai clicks his tongue. "Tch, since it's an order from a violent senpai, how can I pass the chance? I'll disturb you. Not to mention that I'll bother you to no end."

"Looks like you have found a new goal then."

"I guess so."

 _Please keep alive. Don't die._

It's a pray that Kunikida always chants in his brain everyday.

"Well, once we're home. You should go to sleep. Don't wake up late. We will be so busy tomorrow, our work schedule is tight. Don't try to ruin it, you Crowned Prince of Selfishness!"

"Eh? I swear with all of my heart that MAYBE I won't ruin your uptight work schedule, Prime Minister of Planning Kunikida-kun."

"You and your MAYBE ..."

"Maybe ...I will interfere your schedule with my attempts to suicide ..."

"You're Suicidal Big Idiot!"

Dazai laughs.

"Imma Suicidal Big Idiot, thank you~"

 ** _'Keep the Suicidal Big Idiot alive at any cost.'_**

Kunikida made a mental note and nailed it into his brain that he will write it on his notebook later. But now, he's too busy to be relief that the Suicidal Big Idiot Dazai Osamu is still here. Not the underworld yet. He's safe on Kunikida's back. Kunikida carries him carefully as if he carries a precious treasure in his life.


End file.
